Last updated on June 4th, 2020; Published on September 6th, 2017

Gather ye round, for I’m going to tell you a story I bet you’ve never heard before. A story about a prince locked up in a land far, far away, about five knights who braved the odds to rescue him, about a mysterious castle where ghosts wandered. I am going to tell you about The Legend of the Knights of Kajuru – (cue Game of Thrones theme song)

Long ago, a prophecy had been foretold of the five knights of Kajuru; Mofe the Boujee, Lola the Slayer, Fola of Great Hair, Sewalore the Brave and Amarachi the Gentle, who would lead an uprising to overthrow a castle witch and rescue the Prince she held captive for many years.

So goes the prophecy;

All will be made right,
When five valiant knights,
plunge the deep waters of Kajuru’s pool,
with a white swan and a crew so cool.

In fulfilment of this, the knights journeyed to Idu train station, just outskirts of the medieval city of Abuja. There, they tamed the second class cabin of a magnificent beast and began a sojourn for hours on end (app. 2hr 30mins) into a town called Rigasa.

At Rigasa, they tamed yet another wild beast, (Toyota Sedan, by name), and ordered it to lead them to the small town of Kajuru, the home of the castle, its witch and its ghost. The five knights were welcomed with loud stares cheers, for the people were glad that the prophecy was finally being fulfilled.

Picture via Lola the Slayer (unravellingnigeria.com)

Finally, they arrived at the door of the Castle. Without a word spoken, it swung open before them. ‘Who goes there?’ a voice called

‘Tis us, the knights of Kajuru’ Mofe the Boujee responded. For she had deduced the voice belonged to the castle ghost.

‘What brings you to this castle?’ the voice said, ‘Shall I give you a tour?’

‘We seek only to use the pool’

There was silence (also a lot of noise, but mostly silence). Then the voice called again. ‘You have passed the first test, you may enter’

The Battle for Kajuru!

The knights charged into the castle in full force, suited in their armour for war! They rode their swan horses into the deep, unafraid. As the war raged, the pool goddess threatened to pull Sewalore the Brave into the deep but she earned her name by panicking fighting bravely to stay afloat. Fola whipped her hair back and forth while Mofe dove to the rescue, wrestling the pool goddess with her bare hands and bringing Sewalore safely to shore.

pouting on to VICTORY!!!

The battle was getting fiercer but Lola and Amarachi decided it was time to put an end to it.

‘We have to conjure the unbreakable pout spell’ Lola yelled

So, the two knights created an electric pout force so powerful, it shook the castle to its core and broke the chains that held the Prince bound.

Alas, the Prince was free at last!

And thus ends the beginning of the tale of the Legend of Knights of Kajuru. They rode back victoriously into Abuja, this time, in the first-class cabin of the magnificent wild beast.

And they all lived happily ever after!

The End

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