โConditions are never perfect. โSomedayโ is a disease that will take your dreams to the grave with you. Pro and con lists are just as bad. If itโs important to you and you want to do it โeventually,โ just do it and correct course along the way.โ
โ Timothy Ferriss, The Four Hour Work Week
โAnd let me tell you something. That first morning, when you are in your country of choice, away from all of the conventions of atypical, everyday lifestyle, looking around at your totally new surroundings, hearing strange languages, smelling strange, new smells, youโll know exactly what Iโm talking about. Youโll feel like the luckiest person in the world.โ
โ Rolf Potts, Vagabonding: An Uncommon Guide to the Art of Long-Term World Travel
At a roadside chop bar after crossing into Ghana from Cote dโIvoire. The stuff on my face is dirt.ย
In the Zen and The Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig uses a South Indian Monkey Trap as a metaphor for our inability to escape from old ideas. The trap includes a hollowed-out coconut attached to a stake in the ground. The coconut has a small hole in the side and some rice inside. When trying to score a handful of rice, the monkeyโs hand fits through the hole, but his clenched fist full of rice canโt fit back out. The monkey is trapped.
What would you say to the trapped monkey if you could communicate with it and cared about its well-being? โLet go of the riceโ. But this is would be impossible advice for the monkey to consider. He is not really trapped physically; heโs trapped mentally. Heโs trapped by an idea, unable to realize that a principle that worked all his life โ โwhen you see food, hold onto itโ โ has become deadly.
Letting go of the Rice
Last year, I took a 10-day vacation with my parents to Italy. It was an incredible trip, but I was shocked at the lodging costs we accumulated: well over $2,000 (that was my annual salary as a Peace Corps Volunteer!).
Fast forward one year, I took a 3 week, 3,600 km motorcycle trip from Cotonou to Abidjan, up to Ouagadougou through Ghana, and back to Cotonou. My total cost of lodging? $0.
When planning a trip, many people still have their hands deeply lodged in coconut traps. The rice we stubbornly hold onto is hotels. My advice: let go of the rice and become a couchsurfer.
What is Couchsurfing (CS)?
In 2004, Casey Fenton launched couchsurfing.org with the slogan โStay with Locals and Meet Travelersโ. Fenton came up with the idea for couchsurfing during a trip to Iceland. He didnโt want to stay in a โboringโ hotel, so he hacked the University of Icelandโs database and emailed 1,500 students, asking if he could stay with them. He received 50-100 offers.
Couchsurfing.com is now a massive social media and hospitality service. The site provides a platform for members (typically people who love travelling and meeting other travellers) to both โsurfโ and host. โSurfersโ can request to stay as a guest at another memberโs home, and hosts accept to accommodate surfers for free.ย Currently, there are over 10 million members on couchsurfing.org in 80,000 cities.
Distribution of couchsurfers throughout the world
Mum always told me not to talk to strangers
If this is the first time youโve heard about couchsurfing, I bet youโre wondering: โMy mum would kill me if I did this. What if I surf with/host a murderer!?โ
There are two things you can tell your mum to convince her youโre not crazy.
First, just like Uber and other startups in the sharing economy, couchsurfing.com relies on a reference system to create social capital and accountability. Each time a surfer stays with a host, both can write a reference on the otherโs profile describing the person and the experience. When you are looking for a host or deciding whether to host a surfer, you can see all their references. The more positive references someone has, the surer your mum can be that he or she is not a murderer.
Second, you can tell mum that the rewards far outweigh the risks. Beyond the major benefit of free accommodation, staying with a good CS host can provide the richest experiences travel has to offer. You can gain a deep insight into how people of a different country live, exchange adventure stories and travel tips, experience the unfamiliar rhythm and flow of a household and pick up a few words and phrases in the local language.
You can get suggestions on the best places to go and the cuisine worth trying. And you get the chance to meet kindred spirits who teach you the most powerful lesson of travelling-that what we all share in common is more important than what makes us different.
Now that you have mumโs permission, are you ready to become a couchsurfer?
My first time couchsurfing in Calabar, Nigeria
8 Steps to Becoming a Pro at Couchsurfing
1. Create an awesome couchsurfing profile
Register on couchsurfing.com. After signing up with email or Facebook, youโll be asked to verify your profile with a contribution. You can skip this part. Click your name in the top left corner, then click โprofileโ.
Post 5-10 photos: Many couchsurfers post photos of themselves they took during adventures around the world. In general, the photos should try to capture an aspect of your personality.
Fill out your profile: Your CS profile allows other members to understand who you are, what youโve done and why you participate in the CS community. When filling out your profile, CS provides a few description fields to guide what you write, like your current mission on CS, favourite books/movies, what you can teach people, one amazing thing youโve done, countries youโve visited, etc. You donโt have to fill out everything all at once. Fill some out, check out other CS profiles and polish yours up later.
When creating your profile, itโs important to accurately represent yourself. Providing a false name and false information hurts your chances of connecting with other couchsurfers and having positive experiences.
2. Verify profile
Verifying your profile is optional. CS says verification builds trust and security, but most couchsurfers Iโve hosted were not verified. I think I have my phone number verified, but not my address or payment.
The real key to building trust and increasing your chances of connecting to other members is getting references. I rarely accept to host people with 0 references.
There are three types of references on CS: from surfers, from hosts and from friends. When you first create your profile, find friends who are also on couchsurfing and ask them to write you a reference.
A good reference could be: โIโve known Tobenna since we were kids. Heโs a charming, smart, well-travelled guy. He also knows a lot about Nigerian culture and could provide some interesting insights into the political economy of Nigeria. Anyone would be lucky to cross paths with this guy!โ
3. Finding hosts
In the search bar, type in the destination you are travelling to, then click on See more hosts under Local Hosts. A list of all the CS members at that destination will come up. Some destinations have thousands of hosts. Here are a few tips to narrow down the search.
โ Look at whether or not they are accepting guests.
โ Look at their response rate/last login time. Some people respond infrequently and havenโt logged in for months.
โ Look at the number of references. More doesnโt always mean better, but more does mean youโll get a better sense of who the person is.
โ Check out their profile picture and general info. Do they look like a local or expat? Do they speak the same language as you? Are they old or young? What do they do for work?
That should help you narrow it down to 3-5 hosts. The next step is to read each profile and the references. Then make a decision on which host you think would be best.
4. Writing requests
Should you write request to more than one host?
Depends. If itโs last-minute (less than a week before travelling to the destination), then it may be smart to send a few requests to different hosts. If you choose a host and send a request 2-4 weeks in advance, you should have plenty of time to find another host if your first request gets declined.
โ What should I write in a request?
Do not spam hosts. Requests should be personalized, providing some details about who you are, why you are travelling and why you want to stay with the person. You should try to give the impression that you read their profile and are genuinely interested in staying with them. Here is an example of a bad and good request:
BAD
Hi, I am coming on 14th and will stay for 2 night. Can you host me?
GOOD
Bonjour Mark!
Oh, I would love to hear about your moto ride across Nigeria, and possibly even to experience some moto riding in Benin! Iโm on my first trip to West Africa now, having spent the past few weeks in Nigeria. I actually learned to ride moto in South Sudan, on the dusty back roads of the capital. Would dig chatting Iโm sure.
Iโm about to head to Benin for my first time, and Iโm wondering if it might be convenient for you to host me for a short time. Iโm hoping to get to Cotonou on Wednesday (Aug 10) and maybe stay for up to a week or so, possibly with two different hosts, to see different parts of life in the city.
And if hosting happens to not be convenient for you at this time, if you might want to meet up for a conversation over ice cream or a beverage or a little ride or some such thing, Iโd look forward to that as well. Also interested in hearing about your Peace Corps experiences.
Thank you so much for considering hosting me! Iโm very much looking forward to my first of Benin.
โ How many days can you request to stay?
Iโve hosted surfers for less than one day and more than one month. One surfer I hosted told me that he surfed for two years in the same city while going to university, staying with many different hosts for 1-2 months each. Moral of the story: it depends on you and the host. The longer you want to stay though, the more epic your request should be.
โ Can I extend my stay with hosts after arriving?
Again, thatโs between you and the host. Around 50% of the surfers Iโve hosted have extended their stay. If you are getting along well with the host, they probably wonโt mind if you stay a few extra days.
5. Preparing for the Surf
If youโre surfing:
Confirm your arrival and departure date with the host. Itโs polite to let them know in advance, so they can arrange their schedules if need be.
Write down the hostโs address and phone number and enter it in your cell phone.
Have a backup plan. If you canโt get in touch with your host or your host is super creepy, make a plan B for lodging.
If youโre hosting:
When accepting a request, write your address, phone number, and when and where you can meet on the date of arrival. Some super generous hosts offer to pick surfers up at the airport or taxi station.
Tidy up wherever the surfer will sleep. I usually offer surfers my bed and sleep on the couch. Some hosts simply offer a space on the floor. Either way, make the sleeping arrangements clear in your profile.
I usually make a meal the first night and stock up on wine and water.
If youโre not planning on showing the surfer around, have a few suggestions for must-see places and tasty dishes. Also, if you donโt have an internet connection at home, itโs nice to let surfers know where the closest internet cafe is and where they can buy a SIM card if they need one
Keep in mind: Couchsurfing is not a dating site. Donโt make your surfer uncomfortable. Keep it classy.
6. Be flexible and open-minded
Each couchsurfing experience is different.
Hosting: Iโve hosted people that I now consider very close friends. Iโve hosted others who barely exchanged a word with me. Some surfers made me food and offered to pay for all the meals we ate together. Otherโs didnโt. Each surfer has a different budget and preferences, so you have to adapt and be flexible.
Surfing: Some hosts make a trip magical. Some just provide a place on the floor to sleep. You can get a decent idea of what to expect from their profile, but sometimes expectations are wrong.
7. Godliness is cleanliness
Be clean. Wash dishes. Make the bed if you sleep in one.
8. Write thorough references
A day or two after the departure date, couchsurfing.com will send you a message prompting you to write a reference. Writing a reference is not mandatory. In fact, many surfers/hosts donโt write references if the experience was neutral/negative.
My opinion is that you should always write a reference. Itโs part of the social contract of the CS community. This contract says that if Iโm a good host or surfer, youโll write a kick-ass reference so other cool surfers/host will want to stay with/host me. And if I host/surf with a creepy, dirty, horrible surfer/host, I should feel obligated to write a negative reference so other hosts/surfers are aware. Honest references are the key to building trust and security and creating positive experiences.
Here is an example of a typical reference:
Yoshiro is a wonderful guest. He is a very independent traveller and I admire his bravery in exploring Nigeria and the mainland. I am so happy I could help him on his trip. He was happy to meet my friends โ and even cooked up delicious Asian style noodles! Good luck and hopefully see you in Tokyo one day for sushi?
Congrats on becoming a couchsurfer and let us know how your first CS experience goes!
โ-
Thanks for sharing these tips with us, Mark. I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did. Iโll definitely be updating my CS profile after this.
Please leave us a comment, weโd love to hear from you.
