Gather ye round, for I’m going to tell you a story I bet you’ve never heard before. A story about a prince locked up in a land far, far away, about five knights who braved the odds to rescue him, about a mysterious castle where ghosts wandered. I am going to tell you about The Legend of the Knights of Kajuru – (cue Game of Thrones theme song)

Long ago, a prophecy had been foretold of the five knights of Kajuru; Mofe the Boujee, Lola the Slayer, Fola of Great Hair, Sewalore the Brave and Amarachi the Gentle, who would lead an uprising to overthrow a castle witch and rescue the Prince she held captive for many years.

So goes the prophecy;

All will be made right,
When five valiant knights,
plunge the deep waters of Kajuru’s pool,
with a white swan and a crew so cool.

In fulfilment of this, the knights journeyed to Idu train station, just outskirts of the medieval city of Abuja. There, they tamed the second class cabin of a magnificent beast and began a sojourn for hours on end (app. 2hr 30mins) into a town called Rigasa.

At Rigasa, they tamed yet another wild beast, (Toyota Sedan, by name), and ordered it to lead them to the small town of Kajuru, the home of the castle, its witch and its ghost. The five knights were welcomed with loud stares cheers, for the people were glad that the prophecy was finally being fulfilled.

Picture via Lola the Slayer (unravellingnigeria.com)

Finally, they arrived at the door of the Castle. Without a word spoken, it swung open before them. ‘Who goes there?’ a voice called

‘Tis us, the knights of Kajuru’ Mofe the Boujee responded. For she had deduced the voice belonged to the castle ghost.

‘What brings you to this castle?’ the voice said, ‘Shall I give you a tour?’

‘We seek only to use the pool’

There was silence (also a lot of noise, but mostly silence). Then the voice called again. ‘You have passed the first test, you may enter’

The Battle for Kajuru!

The knights charged into the castle in full force, suited in their armour for war! They rode their swan horses into the deep, unafraid. As the war raged, the pool goddess threatened to pull Sewalore the Brave into the deep but she earned her name by panicking fighting bravely to stay afloat. Fola whipped her hair back and forth while Mofe dove to the rescue, wrestling the pool goddess with her bare hands and bringing Sewalore safely to shore.

pouting on to VICTORY!!!

The battle was getting fiercer but Lola and Amarachi decided it was time to put an end to it.

‘We have to conjure the unbreakable pout spell’ Lola yelled

So, the two knights created an electric pout force so powerful, it shook the castle to its core and broke the chains that held the Prince bound.

Alas, the Prince was free at last!

And thus ends the beginning of the tale of the Legend of Knights of Kajuru. They rode back victoriously into Abuja, this time, in the first-class cabin of the magnificent wild beast.

And they all lived happily ever after!

The End

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56 Comments

  1. This is the best thing I’ve read in a while! 😂❤

  2. The man from UNCLE

    Gentle ko, gentle ni. Love the photos.

  3. Hahaha, love it!!! very creative!

  4. Mofe the Bougee was so apt!! Lmao. Amarachi I’ve known there was madness beneath the gentle, this just confirms it. I love it!

    • Haha, my secret is out! X_X. This is the limit, I promise! Lol… Still Amarachi the Gentle!

      Thanks for reading, stoked you loved it and boujee Mofe is indeed!

  5. I cued the Game of Thrones theme song in my head too. Haha!

  6. LMAO. Amarachi you are hilarious. What a story! And the photos are so lovely!!

  7. Well here’s one more place I have to revisit.

  8. This got me laughing so hard😂😂. It is an interesting and unique story👏🏻👏🏻

  9. Hahahahahahaha…..I loved it. So witty.

  10. I laughed too hard at this! Goodness. Great story and what a twist!

  11. These knights had it easy. No sword fight 😡😡

  12. I love this!!!! I laughed so hard at the ‘We seek only to use the pool’. After rescuing the prince all he could was dab??

  13. Lovely.
    Enjoyed this masterpiece!
    Beautiful story line,

    The floating Duck- Legend!

  14. Lol. Amazing story 😂😂😂
    Best believe I’m going to visit the Kajaru soon. This was a fun read.
    Quick question. How much was the ride to and from Idu station?

    • Haha, yaay! The Legend continues…
      A first class ticket costs N1,500, while a second class ticket costs N1,050 – one way. First class tickets get sold out pretty quickly, so it would be best to buy it ahead of time if possible. If not, don’t fret, there’s not that much of a difference anyway 😛

  15. What!

    There was no dialogue with the witch? No fight?

    Awesome article 🖤